By02nd June 2018
It is said that old age is like teenage redefined. Well, I am a 77 year old, stressing on the fact ‘old’; woman. I am a widower with one boy and a daughter in law. 7 years back I was blessed with a small grandson too. But unfortunately all of them stay far away from me.
Shantanu, my son and his wife stay in Germany along with Raman. Post the time they moved out of the house, that is 8 and a half years back, I thought I would be fine. I would talk to them through Internet and phone calls. But they never found enough time to do that on a regular basis. I could understand and so I kept quiet. Soon I had started to feel left out and alone in this house. I had nothing to do. My friends had their daughter in laws and grandchildren to play with. My one and only job of being a caretaker and a mother was no more. I really used to abhor my loneliness. I had started to feel worthless even.
Two years back Shantanu had come to India to visit me on my 75th birthday. I was glad to see Raman face to face for the first time ever. I was filled with joy and happiness. Seema, my daughter in law had planned this surprise for me and it really turned out to be a good one. We had dinner that night with long talks. That night was the best night I had in years after my husband passed away. Reliving the old memories and the process of creating new ones came along together really well. I had a good night’s sleep that night just to know the next day that all of them were leaving the coming morning. Yeah, my family was with me just for 2 days. I was scared to be left alone again. I didn’t want to be the only one in this house again. I wanted them to stay back. What was I to do alone with nothing to do and no one to look after? But things were to happen as planned. They were to leave and I was to be alone. While going Raman had told me about his new guitar class. Though he was just a 5 year old boy, he was smart enough with instruments and music. He had kept his guitar back while leaving. He said “Aaji you can play it whenever you miss me. I won’t mind it at all.”
For 2 months I kept looking at the guitar. Feeling sad about the life I was living. But one fine day, I don’t know why but I skyped Seema and asked if Raman was home. He ran to the laptop and gave me a guitar introductory lesson for 45 minutes that day. It was wonderful. A 75 year old woman was trying to play guitar. My friends thought it was funny. They buzzed the thought off too. But I kept my mind sure about it. I wanted to learn guitar. I searched for a home tutor, Surveen my colony neighbour. She would come home every alternate day for 2 hours and teach me all the new trends right from guitar to the new technology.
Past 2 years of my life, Surveen has been a wonderful tutor and an amazing friend I made as the time passed by. Yesterday, I played and sang the “Aaj Jaane ki zid na karo” Song for Raman on Skype. My chords and strings were wonderful. My 7 year old grandson had tears in his eyes. Today I feel energetic and enthusiastic about every single day that is to come in my rather boring life. Because every day I plan on learning something new on the guitar. People think of me to be crazy, some think I am cool, some think I am playing around. But in reality, I am just happy. Music really has something in it for everyone. For me it is a way of feeling closer to my family, Raman to be specific. It has filled me with joy and it makes me happy too. And yes, with music I do feel as if I am enjoying my teenage years; the idea of being free and confident all over again. And I am loving it. Thank you Raman! Thank you Music.